I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
