I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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