those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
