Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She's JV to your varsity
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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