Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
