I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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