Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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