Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
