And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
