halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
