Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
