So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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