I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
