no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
