take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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