I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
