I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
