I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
