Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
