girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize