guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
