Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
