We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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