jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
