thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
