If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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