I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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