Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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