I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My ATM looks so different sober.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
