well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
