Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
