tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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