and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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