It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
