i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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