A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
