playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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