Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
