He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
