She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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