dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
