from now on my penis is your penis
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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