Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
