Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
