their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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