Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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