So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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