Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
