Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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