i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
