i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
