In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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