his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
