you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize