well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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