Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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