He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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