Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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