Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
