I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
