haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize