so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
