Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
