Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
